Decoding Learning Differences with Kimberlynn Lavelle

Motivational Modeling

As a kid, I remember being scared to go down this set of 3 tall, dark tunnel slides at the local water park (Raging Waters) called The Bermuda Triangle.  But I kept watching all of these other kids going down it and laughing and smiling and enjoying it!

 

Eventually, I climbed the stairs, took a breath and went for it.  And I was so glad that I had found that courage.  That motivation.

 

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences, but have you ever taken the time to consider how this might apply to your relationship with your child?

 

When I became a parent, I read a lot of books and listened to a lot of people.  One thing that struck me was that a child could be “taught” manners by not being forced to say please and thank you, but to just hear and see manners modeled genuinely and often.

 

Good news! This applies to motivating kids to learn (even those with learning disabilities and learning challenges).

 

If you want your child to read, grab a book and find a cozy place on the couch and dig in!

 

If you want your child to do math, model all of your mathematical thinking out loud.

 

If you want your child to write, write a letter to your cousin who you haven’t seen in 3 years.

 

If you want your child to love learning, work on learning something new (and be sure your kid sees how terrible you are at it right now, and how you aren’t giving up!).

 

Watching others engage in an activity can be very motivating.  Especially, if it is not tied to: “I’m reading, you should read too!”  If it feels coercive, it will not be effective.  

 

And, it might take a lot of modeling, so enjoy the reading, writing, math, and learning activities for their own sake.  Know that your child is benefiting from it, and let the struggles and expectations go.

The Real Pace of Learning

Children are expected to learn at a steady pace, starting fourth grade at a 4.0, and ending at a 4.9 or 5.0, with steady consistent growth of .1 each month along the way.

 

I have never met that child.

 

Every child I have ever worked with has had periods of explosive growth and periods of stagnation and even regression.

We expect that steady straight line, but the spikes and dips and plateaus is closer to the reality that I see.  I also want to point out that some kids will not start or end at the expected points, although I had them line up for this illustration. (www.YourParentHelp.com/podcast_0230)

 

And while it is easy to look at this overall graph and think, “Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about.  That kid made great progress!”  it’s not so easy to feel that way in November, when a kid who WAS doing really well, hasn’t made growth in months!

 

So one big takeaway I want you to see here is that kids will make progress, at their own pace, and you don’t need to panic when progress hasn’t happened in a while.

 

But you’re probably wondering: Why does this happen? What can we do about these plateaus and dips?  Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

 

Great questions!

 

Why does this happen? 

Kids often get very enthusiastic initially, and then become bored.  So their progress can be directly linked to their enthusiasm for learning the skill.

 

Kids also will have enough background knowledge to make rapid growth initially, before getting stuck on a harder concept for a while.  Then when they break through that struggle, they excel again for a while, before hitting another roadblock.

 

And for some kids, it has to do with self-confidence.  They don’t feel self-assured enough to make progress initially.  Then they have a breakthrough and feel great, and make huge growth before getting stuck and losing confidence again.

 

What can we do about these plateaus and dips?   Is there a way to maintain better momentum?

 

One of the best strategies to try when you notice boredom or resistance to daily lessons is to bring in novelty.  When things are new again, they feel fresh.  This can be as drastic as changing which curriculum you’re using, or can be as simple as:

• Changing the tool: Crayons instead of pencils
• Changing the location: outside, on the couch, under the dining room table
• Changing the time of day: after lunch instead of after breakfast
• Bringing in something new: music, snacks, a “new student” (the dog or a stuffed animal)

 

Of course, I am never a proponent of forcing a child to do something they are really against.  Have a genuine conversation with your child to see what is going on and why they’re feeling resistant.  Give them options, and ask for their suggestions.

 

You might need to take a break from the lessons for a while, but perhaps your kiddo would be on-board to do a little practice to maintain previously-mastered skills.

 

A word of caution

As you can imagine from all the possible learning graphs of spikes, dips, and plateaus, every child is different and comparing two kids is rarely beneficial.  

 

Keep your own feelings about your child’s progress in check.  

 

Your child is an awesomely unique human who is developing their skills in their own way and at their own pace.  Another child’s pace does not reflect anything on your own child’s pace.

 

However, if in your gut, you know that something is off- your child needs more help, a different program, etc. - make it happen!  Don’t ignore those gut feelings, just be sure that they ARE gut feelings!

 

Takeaway

We expect kids to make slow and steady progress, but I’ve never met a kid who did.  Adjust as needed!

Is Unschooling an Option for YOUR Family??

Sue Patterson of Unschooling Mom2Mom defines unschooling as bringing a full, rich life to your kids and trusting that they learn naturally.

 

Listen to Sue’s answers to these questions (and more):

 

• What led you to choose unschooling?
• What is your take on unschooling children with learning disabilities such as ADHD or dyslexia?
• Is unschooling ‘right’ for everyone?  If not, describe who it is best for and who it is questionable for.

 

And then let me know if you’re currently unschooling or considering it, or if you just think it’s crazy!

 

Sue Patterson, a homeschooling mom with over 25 years of experience, is also an author, and an unschooling coach and podcaster. She helps families who aren't happy with their educational situations, and shows them how learning more about unschooling will help. She runs Unschooling Mom2Mom, available on all the social media platforms and offers courses, guides, group coaching programs, and private coaching.

www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com 

 

Sue's book: Homeschooled Teens: 75 Young People Speak About their Lives without School.

(Digital and HardCopy at Amazon)

 

Podcast: Unschooling Mom2Mom http://www.UnschoolingMom2Mom.com/podcast

 

Sue sends out unschooling resources weekly by email.

Join her free email list here: Unschooling Updates

Benefits to Home Education and Intervention

Kids with autism, dyslexia, ADHD, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and other learning disabilities (including auditory, visual, attention, and cognitive processing disorders) benefit greatly from being carefully educated by those who know them best and spend the most time with them!

 

Teaching our children at home has so many benefits!  Even if your child attends a traditional school, you can support their learning difficulties at home.  Here are the benefits that I see:

(Watch or listen for more details on each!)

 

• Relationship Building
• 1:1 Instruction
• Instruction/Intervention throughout the day
• Individualized ABCs:
  • At your child’s level
  • Building on strengths
  • Challenging appropriately
  • Deficits worked on consistently
  • Engaging your child’s interests
  • Fun for your kid!

Note:

• Know yourself and your kid (will this work for your family?)
• You may want to hire a tutor or enroll your kid in a class instead
• At home interventions is highly effective for kids in traditional schools too (for all the same reasons)
• Very little time should be spent on intensive intervention

Analyzing Motivation: Interview with Alfie Kohn

From www.AlfieKohn.org:

Alfie Kohn writes and speaks widely on human behavior, education, and parenting. The author of fourteen books and hundreds of articles, he lectures at education conferences and universities as well as to parent groups and corporations. Kohn’s criticisms of competition and rewards have been widely discussed and debated, and he has been described in Time magazine as “perhaps the country’s most outspoken critic of education’s fixation on grades [and] test scores.”

 

Listen as I ask Alfie about some of our previous episodes on motivation and my suggestions on what you should be doing and I get his feedback.

 

Some of my biggest take-aways were:

 

• Ask yourself: What are my long term goals for my kid(s)?
• Kids don’t have to be given intrinsic motivation to learn
• Before trying to motivate your child, ask: what am I motivating them to do? Why? Is it developmentally appropriate? Does it meet my child’s needs?
• Imagine how things look from your kid’s point of view.

 

What were your take-aways?

 

https://www.alfiekohn.org/

Start reading his books today!

Money Money Money

One of my favorite mathematical tools is in your wallet, or maybe in your junk drawer, or one of those 5 gallon water jugs.

 

Coins!

 

Coins can be used to teach so many math concepts!  And yet, money is barely mentioned in the common core standards.  I understand that coins aren’t necessarily critical, but I do think it’s important as a life skill AND it’s a great mathematical tool for tons of other concepts!

 

First, we need to work on teaching our kids to identify coins- their names and values.  

 

Then we can use those coins to practice counting by 1s, 5s, 10s, and 25s!

 

Counting by numbers means we can also use coins to practice multiplication, making groups of one nickel and 2 pennies to practice 7s, for example.

 

If our kids are comfortable with knowing that 4 quarters makes a dollar, then we can use that to reinforce fractions.  Three quarters means ¾ of a dollar!

 

This knowledge of fractions then ties into decimals and their equivalent fractions.  25/100 is equal to ¼ because $0.25 is 1 quarter, which is ¼ of a dollar.

 

We can then use this to work on ratios in much the same way.  We might discuss the ratio of 5 pennies to every 1 nickel.  So 5 nickels is 25 pennies.

 

Along the way, our children will have also learned a lot about place value, including decimal place value.  They can practice trading 10 pennies for 1 dime.  And the opposite.  Think about how this can be used for multi-digit addition and subtraction.  They can trade dollars, dimes, and pennies as needed to make counting easier and to make subtraction possible.

 

Having our kids be very comfortable with counting and using coins is a wonderful example of everyday learning, using an everyday activity or skill to learn deeply.

Vocabulary and Learning Disabilities

When we understand why our children are struggling with reading comprehension, we can be far more effective in helping them to overcome their struggles.

 

Vocabulary as a skill is essentially about understanding the meaning of the words being read.  A strong vocabulary allows children to understand the meanings of higher level texts.

 

Some learning disabilities will hinder a child’s vocabulary development or retention, causing them to struggle to understand what they are reading.

 

When we help them overcome this difficulty, we help them to find more reading comprehension success and enjoyment.

 

So what can we do to support vocabulary development in those struggling?

 

First, just use a variety of vocabulary and when you notice a word that is confusing to your child, make a point of adding it to your vocabulary and helping to make neural connections by using it as frequently as you can.

 

The natural follow up to this is to then reinforce vocabulary as you are reading with your child.  Give reminders of words that have previously been practiced.

 

Next, make building your child’s vocabulary intentional.  Play games with vocabulary words, grab a word-a-day calendar, create a vocabulary log/journal where they can record the words they are learning and practice using them a few times.

 

What to avoid

The old dictionary copying is REALLY bad teaching practice!  The kids don’t really learn anything from this approach unless they are able to overcome the tedium to gain interest in the meanings of the words.

 

I would also recommend avoiding completing vocabulary worksheets.  These are similarly boring most of the time, and kids wind up “doing” the worksheet, not learning the vocabulary.

 

Additionally, keep in mind that almost no one can learn a word after having it explained once.  Some kid with memory challenges, will need A LOT of repetition before they actually remember the meaning of the word.  Don’t be too eager to constantly introduce new vocabulary, unless you are able to also constantly practice the previously “mastered” vocabulary words.

 

More TO DO

 

Develop your own vocabulary and use new words around your kids!  Modeling is a great teacher and the more a child hears a particular word in use, the more they will truly understand the word wherever they come across it.

 

Next, model curiosity around new words and their meanings.  Demonstrating that you don’t know every word can be encouraging for kids.

 

For some kids

For some kids, intervention with a speech and language specialist may be your best choice.  You may reach out to your local school district for an evaluation.  Medical insurance also covers speech and language services in some cases, so talk to your doctor/insurance about how to have your child evaluated.  If you’re up for paying out of pocket, you can research private practices in your area.

 

Takeaway:

A strong vocabulary leads to improved reading comprehension and should be fostered intentionally.

 

If you need some help in figuring out more specifics around the HOW to help educate your own child, or to provide your child some extra support, reach out to me (Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com) for more information, or to schedule a call.  You can also check out the Available Services page for more information on some options that may work well for you and your family.

Motivational Outings: Zoo

Motivation fascinates me and is something I’m constantly researching, contemplating, and re-educating myself about.  The funny thing is, what I’ve always known to be true, is what clearly is.  And yet, it’s not what society teaches us.  We’re taught to use “the carrot and the stick” when finding intrinsic motivation is far superior to any extrinsic motivator. 

 

This week, I want to offer some inspiration in one way to inspire and motivate your children academically.  And that is with the use of outings, specifically zoos.

 

A trip to the zoo can be incredibly motivating and educational without any extra effort or considerations.  However, it can also be tailored to be especially motivating to your child with just a little reflection and consideration before you go.

 

Discussions

Be sure to take time away from the frenzy of “Look at this! Look at that! Look over here! Look over there!” to have some deep discussions with your kid.  It will tend to make things go slower, and that might allow everyone to relax and enjoy themselves more.  Or, if you all just have to see everything, have the discussions between exhibits.

 

Some discussions might be:

• Why an animal is doing something (Why is the camel rolling in the mud?)
• How the habitat is designed
• How the zoo chose where to put animals
• What the animals need
• The purpose of zoos
• Ethical considerations around zoos

 

Writing

All that discussion can definitely be a jumping off point for some writing!  

 

Types of writing that may be generated during or after a zoo visit:

• Journal
• Log
• Letters
• Research paper
• Persuasive writing
• Creative writing

 

Scavenger Hunts

Scavenger Hunts might be linked to math or a writing or discussion topic, or might just be purely for fun.

 

Some examples of Scavenger hunts:

• How many "hoofed" animals
• Where are all the restrooms/ water fountains?
• Which animals have bodies of water?
• Specific animals/ items at the zoo

 

Math!

This is a huge topic and it varies widely by math ability and what your child is working on learning or practicing, as well as what your child is interested in and motivated toward.

 

Some ideas:

• Counting animals, exhibits, restrooms, etc.
• Adding and subtracting any of the above (“There are 5 gazelles over here and 7 over there, so altogether that is ____”; “There are 12 birds in this aviary, with 5 herons, so that must mean there are how many ducks?”)
• Fractions (the sign says there are 9 giraffes, but we only see 5, so we’ve found 5/9 of the giraffes!)
• Math projects (questions that take extra research and time to carefully calculate and figure out- possibly over lunch, or later at home):
  • how much does it cost to feed all of the animals?
  • how much space does each elephant need?

 

Takeaway:

More than anything, I’d like you to be inspired to stay open-minded when it comes to how an outing might be motivational for your child.  Allow the discussions to go deep and wander.  Do not force anything (it almost never pays off), but encourage!  Always remember to model these same skills/ motivations/ activities yourself!  

 

Let me know what inspires your kiddo and what you would add to this list!

Kimberlynn@DecodingLearningDifferences.com

Where I’m at: Educating My Littles

My kids are only 2 and 4 years old,  but what am I doing to guide their education right now?

 

First of all, books!  We read a lot of books!  Those books drive discussions and some other discussions drive us to refer to books.  We read a lot of books and we have a lot of discussions and those two things are a huge part of their education.

 

We go to the park almost daily, meeting kids and playing with old and new friends constantly.

 

I set up play dates with more and more people.  I decide where and when, and the kids decide what to do!

 

I involve my kids around the house.  There are things I expect them to do in terms of cleaning up and tidying up, but I also invite them to join me in the chores that I am doing.  I also involve them in grocery shopping, cooking, planning, and other aspects of daily life.

 

We go on outings to the zoo, the beach, museums, hikes, libraries, and farmers markets.

 

I’ve signed them up for a couple of classes and am looking to sign them up for more: swim, dance, martial arts, gymnastics, art, and music.

 

Do I use a curriculum?

No… But I have purchased quite a few!  I’ve got a lot of early literacy and early math materials and curriculum supports but we aren’t currently using almost any of it.  We’re just now starting to work on learning letters in a concentrated way, but all of the learning is still mostly from books.

 

Do I follow a particular educational philosophy?

We do some unschooling although it’s probably better described as relaxed homeschooling because I have a specific idea of what I want them to learn, but I go at their pace and follow their lead.

 

We also follow some wildschooling philosophies, with trying to constantly get outside.

 

I also adore the Montessori math materials and have purchased some of that and follow their general concepts on how to teach mathematics, although I am not as rigid in our set up or presentation.  

 

For learning letters, I’m playing with a Waldorf book: The Alphabet to inspire them to learn each letter.  I love the playful fantasy of Waldorf while also loving the real concreteness and practical application of Montessori.

 

As my kids start to show preferences over a particular style of acquiring information, our educational system will be further tailored.

 

And all of this is just what works for us!  You will find your own path and what works best for you! 

Safety Impacts Education

This week, I want to take some time to speak about safety and its impact on education.

 

If we think about the Hierarchy of Needs (I learned Maslow’s originally, but then found out that Indigenous people have taught very similar hierarchies long before Maslow), the concept is simple:  we have to have some basic needs met in order to have space in our lives to access the best of ourselves.

 

If our children are not fed, rested, and feeling safe, they can not learn.  Schools in California (and I’m sure not just California) now offer free breakfast and lunch to every child (no proof of poverty necessary).  Schools encourage parents to send children to bed early.  Schools provide mental health services at higher rates now than ever before.  Schools are trying to step in when parents can’t provide these things to their children.

 

And that is why I love and support public schools.  Public schools are desperately trying to save the world, one child at a time.  The public school system may very well be broken, behind the times, and far too bureaucratic, but it’s also never been better (imo).  It is also there to serve children, and offer them the best it can.

 

But this episode isn’t really about public schools, because this podcast is aimed at parents and how parents can support their child’s education.

 

To support your child’s education, you need to be sure that their needs are met.  So let’s cover the easiest stuff first, the stuff that is so obvious it shouldn’t need to be said, but since we are in it daily we might need that gentle reminder:

Make sure your kid is getting adequate sleep.

Make sure your kid is getting fed adequately.

Make sure your kid feels seen, loved, understood.

Make sure your kid is clean, and dressed comfortably.

A little less obvious: Make sure your kid’s sensory needs are met.  Are they sensitive to light or sound or certain textures?  Do they need pressure?  Do they need movement?  

 

Any of these things can distract your child from being able to focus on their education- whether they are homeschooled or schooled with others.

 

But because we are relational beings, the needs of others will impact your child as well.  A cranky first grader might ruin your child’s day because that kid didn’t get enough sleep and your child was standing too close to them at lunch.  A sullen 5th grader may bully your child daily because they feel so inadequate themselves, and because empathy was never instilled in them.

 

When we support public schools, we support our society.  Right now, public schools are under attack.  And everyone is being harmed by these attacks.

 

If you want to support your child’s education, you need to support your local public schools.  Ask what they need in regard to what you are able to offer: volunteer time, money, supply donations, organizational skills.  Stand up for them when others criticize unfairly.  Post support of teachers, who are trying their best to be the best for our country’s children. 

 

Again, schools have a lot that needs to be fixed.  Teachers are often not taught what they most need to learn to be a truly good teacher.  There is still a disgusting obsession with behaviorism in schools.  I have many complaints, but the people are loving and deserve support.  The concept of free education should be expanded, not attacked.

 

Beyond supporting public schools, support your community.  Maybe you can let the schools know that if someone seems to have trouble with drop-offs and pick-ups, that they can reach out to you and you’ll help.  Maybe you can volunteer in whatever area is a good fit for you: animal shelter, food pantry, hospital, library, etc.

 

Now, I would also encourage you to advocate for your kid and others: teenagers have different rhythms than young kids.  They are biologically wired (and technology makes this way worse) to stay up later and sleep in later.  They need their schools to start later.  Go to your school board and fight for later start times.  Early start times are impacting their education.

 

Representation matters.  What our children are taught matters.  Be vocal in your support of all children feeling seen and validated.  Kids from families that are black, brown, gay, transgender, muslim, atheist, and everything else all need to know they are not the only ones.  And the other kids need to know that too! 

 

Representation improves the emotional and social well being of all children.

 

And of course- we need to stop the mass shootings that make all of us fearful.  Vote, call, write, and make your voice heard.